The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (abridged) [revised] by Adam Long

Author:Adam Long [Long, Adam]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781476850559
Publisher: Applause Theatre & Cinema Books
Published: 2013-12-06T00:00:00+00:00

ADAM I wish you wouldn’t.

DANIEL Jess, we don’t want to see your—

JESS [Pulls out a manuscript.] Monograph!

[DANIEL and ADAM sigh in relief.]

ADAM What else do you keep in your pants?

JESS [Looks.] Some sandwiches. Want one?

DANIEL and ADAM No!

DANIEL Hey, maybe we could improvise an interpretive dance, performance-art version of your... thingy.

ADAM Oh, I love interpretive performance art. It’s so... pretentious!

DANIEL Yeah! Get some props!

JESS Now wait just a minute. I was thinking of a more straightforward, scholarly approach.

ADAM Naw, screw that. [He exits.]

DANIEL Go ahead and read, and we’ll interpret. [He poses.]

JESS Well, okay. Troilus and Cressida was written in 1603, published in quarto in 1604, and appears in the First Folio, although this version is some one hundred and sixty-six lines longer than the second quarto edition of 1645, which is some one hundred and sixty-six lines shorter.

[During the above, DANIEL performs an awkward dancemime as ADAM re-enters, first with an inflatable dinosaur and then with a battery-operated Godzilla that walks and roars (though any mechanical toy with good comic timing will suffice). DANIEL and JESS stare at the toy, then look disapprovingly at ADAM and gesture for him to remove it. ADAM picks up the toy, turns it off, and exits like a wounded puppy.]

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